Let me tell you a quick story.
This week, a guy emailed me. He told me that he was fed up with trying to meet women, and he was going to go join a MONESTARY in order to get rid of his desires for women.
In the email he explained that he has a paralyzing fear of approaching women, and he hates doing it.
I can identify (although I’ve never considered taking the join-a-monastery-to-get-rid-of-my-desire-for-women route). I can remember how totally freaked out I would get at even the THOUGHT of walking up to a woman that I didn’t know and trying to "pick up" on her.
Combine this with the places that most guys go to meet women, and it’s no wonder that some guys just throw in the towel and give up.
When I first decided that I was going to get this area of my life called "women and dating" handled, I started out by going to a lot of bars and clubs.
My thinking was that this would be where all the hot young babes were.
As it turned out, I was right. At least, partly.
The more bars I went to, and the more women I met at these bars, the more I began to realize that the woman of my dreams probably wasn’t running around inside of one of them.
My experience has shown me that a lot of beautiful women go to trendy bars and clubs to get attention and have men buy them drinks.
To be fair, I have met a few really wonderful girls at bars and clubs, but for the most part this is really one of the WORST places to get started.
Sure, after you become the Mac Daddy of all time, and you have skills that James Bond would envy, you’ll have a lot of fun meeting women at bars and clubs.
But for the most part, it’s a lot easier and better to meet women in other places.
Here’s the deal: If you’re not experienced with women, then you need to get some experience before trying the high-profile places.
And, in fact, some of the places that I’m about to tell you about are so great that you might just give up bars and clubs forever.
My premise is simple: Go places where there are likely to be a LOT of women, and a place where it’s NATURAL to talk to women (especially places where you are doing something WITH them, and in effect already have something in common to talk about).
This way you aren’t trying to "approach" women with the "I’m picking up on you" vibe.
Here are a few good ones:
1) Yoga Classes. Yes, Yoga. Women LOVE yoga, and you’ll probably find a 2 or 3 to 1 ratio of women to men when you get there. And since everyone is in a relaxed, meditative state there’s no weird environmental pressures to get in the way.
2) Aerobics classes (especially the trendy ones like Tae-Bo, Spinning, etc.). If you can keep up, these are great places to meet above-average women. And they are great places to meet LOTS of them. Women love to be trendy, and there’s always a new trendy aerobics class coming out every few minutes.
If you don’t like the workouts, try the coffee shops and juice bars located adjacent to the gyms in your area. The women will be stopping in for refreshments after working out. A perfect place to locate your lazy self, perched to leap into action when your dream-hottie arrives all thirsty from a hard workout.
3) Art Shows. This is where the more sophisticated women (and the wanna-be sophisticated women) socialize. There is often wine and cheese, and all kinds of great places to start conversations. It helps to know something about art, which I don’t (maybe that’s why I don’t go to many art shows...).
4) Pottery Classes. Yes, I know. Probably not your first choice of what to do with spare time. But that’s the point. Most guys out there aren’t thinking this one either. Go check out a ceramics class and meet some cool, earthy women who are getting in touch with their primitive sides.
The point here is to:
GO MEET WOMEN WHERE...
1. There are a lot of them
2. It’s natural to start talking to them
3. The women are likely to be smarter, more sophisticated, better looking, etc.
4. There is less competition and distraction from other guys.
I’m sure if you take a few minutes you can figure out a few good places of your own.
One of my favorites happens to be online. The internet is great! You can say hi to a woman who’s online via an instant messaging program, and never have to deal with the fear of rejection... if she doesn’t answer just go on to the next one.
I’ve met some STUNNING women online, and I have a good friend who basically only dates women he meets on the internet.